Tim Tebow Is Terrible

Now that I've successfully grabbed your attention, allow me to state that this is not exactly how I feel. I just feel that Tim Tebow is doomed to failure as an NFL quarterback, and it would be a terrible move to draft him as such. Here's why.

The Scrambling Quarterback OR Tim Tebow Sucks

The NFL has gone through some changes throughout the years. In 1977, defense was at its most recent peak – teams were allowing (and likewise scoring) less points than in any year since the NFL was hampered by World War II (in 1942, for example, the Lions (who else) went 0 – 11 and somehow only scored 38 points all year). In 1977, the Atlanta Falcons set a modern day record when they allowed only 129 points in 14 games. Of course, they only scored 179 points and went 7 – 7. Rules were liberalized in 1978, and the NFL has seen an explosion of offense since then – especially passing offense.

The Chicago Bears are in a precarious position – they have to win this year, or blow up their offense and start over. Rex Grossman and Kyle Orton will both have to go if the Bears fail to win at least 9 games. At the start of this season, however, it appears that no quarterbacks will be available in the 2009 NFL draft worth making a franchise signal-caller.

There is one guy that a lot of people like, and I can’t figure out the reason. If the Bears drafted him and played him at quarterback, it would torpedo their organization for a good eight or ten years. I am, of course, referring to 20-rushing touchdown / 20-passing touchdown one-time national champion Tim Tebow out of Florida.

Tim Tebow will not be a good NFL quarterback. Tim Tebow will not even be a serviceable NFL quarterback. Tim Tebow is going to fail in the NFL as a quarterback. This should be apparent to anyone who watches football, but it isn’t. The NFL is not built for running quarterbacks. The only way to be a successful quarterback in today’s National Football League is to be a pocket passer. It helps to be mobile, sure, but if a quarterback uses his running and passing abilities to equal measure, he will not succeed in the NFL. Michael Vick, for all of his faults, had the greatest scrambling ability of any NFL quarterback ever. He broke Bobby Douglass’ 34-year-old record of 968 rushing yards for a quarterback in 2006 when he rushed for 1,039 yards. What did it get his team? It got them a 7 – 9 record. Vick had one NFC title game appearance, in 2004 – a 27 – 10 loss to the Eagles. If Michael Vick’s scrambling ability could not usher in a new paradigm where scrambling quarterbacks led the way and pocket passers were left in the dust, it cannot be done. At least, it cannot be done without a change in rules making it easier for quarterbacks to scramble and more difficult for them to pass. As presently constructed, NFL rules render running quarterbacks unviable. How many quarterbacks must fail, and how many college QBs must have a potential career wasted because their college coach doesn’t force them to learn how to be a pocket passer? Hey Terrell Pryor – I’m watching you, and I’m going to watch you be awful in the NFL, too.

People think Tim Tebow is different for some reason. Here’s why – it’s because he’s a white scrambling quarterback. Oddly, people (white and black) tend to think that pocket passing is a “white man’s” method of passing, while it is more natural for black quarterbacks to use their athletic ability and scramble. This is ridiculous, and perpetuated by (who else?) the media. Just ask Hall-of-Famer (and pocket passer) Warren Moon what the most effective strategy is. It’s not a black thing or a white thing, it’s a “pocket-passing works and scrambling doesn’t” thing. Tim Tebow is not going to succeed where the others failed because he’s more talented, or a better runner, or a better passer, or because he’s white where all the other running QB’s weren’t. He’s not going to succeed at all because he’s a running quarterback. Hopefully, Tim Tebow - as a white running QB spectacularly failing in the NFL - will put this myth to bed once and for all. I just hope he doesn’t put it to bed while playing for the Chicago Bears.

This brings me back to the Bears, as was my goal. If Rex Grossman flops, it’s likely that the Bears’ fan base will not want to see them draft another quarterback out of Florida anyway (a school that has produced an astounding number of quarterback flops in recent years, actually). Another option they could go for is Curtis Painter, a pocket passer, out of Purdue… except that Kyle Orton also attended Purdue, and they might want to stay away from that school too. So what options do they have? Their only option, really, is to succeed this season and make it irrelevant. Hopefully that loss to the Chiefs was just preseason jitters and not a harbinger of a terrible year to come.

As a youth, Ja Doe attended 15 Norwich Navigators games. He saw a loss, two wins, eleven consecutive losses, and a win before the team became a San Francisco Giants affiliate and he ceased going out of principle.